Personal Narrative

Bianka Martinez
Personal Narrative
Alexander

People always ask me the same question: how does it feel to be a mom. Well quite frankly I do not know. It has its good things as well as it’s not so good things. For instance, it is amazing how much love you have for a human you just met. You finally have a reason to go to the zoo, the aquarium and just be a little kid again without feeling awkward around kids and their parents. But you can no longer party every weekend how you used to or have your complete 8 to 10 hours of beauty sleep at night. You have a reason to not be a speed racer down highways and go exactly the speed limit. You now have to be extra careful about playing with danger because you now got a reason to be alive and stay alive. Having a baby changes everything. How you think, how you look, how you feel and even how you smell sometimes. Now that I’m a mother I no longer want to party all the time (though I need it every once in a while, I’m not going to lie), I now have someone I want to spend my time with. As much time as I can, for that matter. Time with my little one is a must. I want to make sure I’m the first one to hear him say dada (because that is the first word they say unfortunately) or be the first that sees him take his first steps. Being young, with a job and trying to finish school is very hard. Time is my worst enemy. I wish there were more hours in the day.
Alexander was born on June 28, 2009. I started with my contractions on the 27th at about 7pm. The pain wasn’t too bad… yet. I went into the hospital and got in the hot tub right away to calm my contractions. The pain kept increasing and getting stronger so I finally gave in and begged for the epidural. I was only 3cm open. They didn’t want to give it to me so soon so they waited until like 1 or 2 in the morning. By then I had tears running down my cheeks. They put me on the drug and I finally calmed down. I was painless the rest of the night and all morning too. At about noon the next day I was already 7 cm open and my pain came back. My pain came back intensely. I pleaded for a stronger drug but no matter how strong the drug was, my pain was 100 times stronger. Then, it was time to push. I pushed for 3 hours with no result. The epidural was not helping me at all. I felt every bone in my body about to burst out. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and did not want anyone near me. To make matters worse, my mother was freaking out and would not stop asking questions. “Tell the doctor to give you a c-section!” “Why is she putting that inside you?!” “Tell her you need more epidural.” “It is her fault you are like this!” “Shut up, do not talk to me!” I would say. That is the last time she will ever be in the labor room with me, by the way. At 3:10pm the doctor came in with a cart full of metal implements. Very calmly, she put on her plastic gloves and pulls out some enormous forceps without saying anything or even glancing at me to see if I’m ok, she shoves them inside me and pulls out the baby’s head as if it was a stuffed animal. The pain made that minute was the worst minute of my life! So there it was. Alexander was born at 3:13 pm. As soon as I saw him my pain went away (I know, it sounds kind of cheesy, but it’s true). The doctor had to stick around to sow back my 4th degree tear. During recovery, I couldn’t walk, sit or lay down. I had some hemorrhoids, the size of humongous gum balls. But my baby was ok. Besides his cone head and some minor injuries on his head and face, he’s perfect.
I thank God Alexander was ok. My life changed in just 9 months. I went from living with my parents and doing whatever I wanted, to getting married and having a baby and a new home. Do I regret having my baby? Well I wish I would have waited but now that he is here, I love him so much, I could not imagine my life without him. He makes me look at life in a different way: A positive, healthy good way.